We say it so much that it’s almost cliché. What really
is a bad boy? We’ll throw some things out there, let us know if they stick.
Bad boys are hyper-masculine. Almost Alpha males. Not to say that there aren’t some nice guys who have high testosterone levels, but bad boys take it to the extreme. Bad boys are intense. About everything. How they make their money. How people see them. Well, there is an exception. Relationships. They are hot (sex) and cold (commitment) about that.
Bad boys have really strict boundaries. You can’t really make them do anything they don’t wanna do. Even if it’s a better option than what they’re currently doing. (Come to think of it, that sounds more like they’re really stubborn.)
Bad boys do whatever they want, when they want, pretty much regardless of the consequences. If you get hurt in the process, so be it. Oh, and a lot of bad boys care about their appearance. Not in the pretty boy kind of way. Their hair and clothing don’t matter nearly as much as their muscle mass. (On the low, that alone makes them pretty hot!)
When you think about all of that, it’s not enough to make a woman hunt a man down. So what is it, really, about a bad boy that gets us all in a tizzy if not a total emotional wreck? Good freakin’ question.
He’s A Challenge
Any guy that you have to convince to be with you really isn’t worth your time. You know this in theory and still, you set out to try and yeah... convince him to be with you.
There’s nothing wrong with liking a challenge. But how about putting that energy into your work or that new project you want to get off of the ground? Don't put it into getting a man to want a relationship with you. The thing about chasing a challenge in the form of a man is you’re so caught up in the pursuit that you’re not really thinking about what you’ll do with him once you actually have him. And here’s the thing about a bad boy: he’s usually already told you that being in a relationship with him is not all it’s cracked up to be. If not verbally, through his lifestyle.
Maya Angelou said it well: “When people show you who they are, believe them the first time.” Bad boys are not exempt.
The Sex Is Bananas
BAD BOY SEX. We wish we could tell you that it sucked, but we’d be lying. Not that every single one can hold it down in the bedroom (or wherever), but most have a pretty impressive reputation. Our theory is this: Probably the only thing that they really invest in when it comes to a woman is making sure that she is sexually satisfied. It's not so they can make an emotional connection, but because it’s good for their own ego. Make sense?
This topic could be a book all on its own. For now, we’ll just say this: Don’t confuse good sex with a good man. If you sleep with a bad boy, especially right off the bat, you’re pretty much well on your way to it going as far as it will go.
Other Women Want Him
There’s something alluring about a man that everyone else seems to want. So yes, this is another part of a bad boy’s mystique. But do you really want to be in a relationship with someone who always has women after him and doesn’t seem to mind? A lot of bad boys don’t set good boundaries. They don’t see the need. Hence them being a bad boy in the first place.
They Are Closet Commitment-Phobes
Some bad boys commit. Most don’t, though. That’s not sexy. That’s frustrating. Besides, you can see signs of these kinds of 'commitment-phobes' way before you try and get them locked down. They break dates. They don’t call when they say they will. If you do have a sexual relationship, staying over isn’t really their thing. They don’t want to talk about the future and will make you feel like a crazy desperate chick if you do.
If you want to casually date? A bad boy will scratch that itch. If you want to get married? Yeah, well. Good luck with that. (Please read all of the sarcasm in that statement.)
They Confuse Arrogance With Confidence
The Alpha male energy that a bad boy exudes can be quite seductive. And deceptive. You’ll be out here thinking that you’re with a man who is confident and secure when really he’s just arrogant. And arrogance? It's really just insecurity in disguise.
A man who is always talking about himself, a man who is caught up in his looks, a man who brags (even if it’s a “humble brag”)---he’s not as confident as you think. Confidence is about knowing what your abilities are, striving to be successful and---get this---not needing 100 women to feel like a man.
Don’t get it twisted. At the end of the day, a lot of these “nice guys” out here are a whole lot more confident than the bad boys Don't write the nice ones off before giving them a closer look.
There’s More Of Them In The World
There’s a statistical reason why a lot of women go for bad boys. It’s that there seem to be more of them out-and-about in the world. More arrogant, commitment-phobes who are great in bed and have no intention on building a future with you.
Yeah, they're an option but hopefully you see that more often than not... it’s simply not the best choice for you. Just because it’s cliché to go for the bad guy, that doesn’t mean you have to. Please aim higher. You deserve someone who is GOOD for you. Yes, pun totally intended.